I tried a new antihistamine. It was a disaster. I was a zombie.
Being an INFP, my feelings of happiness and contentment are dependent on those I love also being happy and content. I am very empathetic so others moods and needs become mine. This is so very true of my personal sex life. I often have to remind Is Still Here of this, especially when he asks what I want, and I reply “whatever you want.”
Sometimes I really need an orgasm; sometimes I feel Is Still Here needs one more. Sometimes both having one is not an option. In the past this was not an issue. We were young — without medical issues, and not in constant pain. We were also almost always ready for sex.
Elder Sex takes a little more planning - little things like having some wine - but not too much - getting to bed early enough - taking a pill - and not taking another kind of pill — putting lube in before coming to bed - so there is no delay when things heat up - putting on a ring or not.
Even times when I would rather just have a cuddle, or a back rub, it makes me happier to make him feel good. During this new antihistamine trial it was impossible. Being in sync — both feeling “up to it” at the same time can be a challenge.
Ok this is hard. I need to get more specific. How many posts can we write just saying be nice and please your partner, take time and prepare.
I guess I need to say what pleases me.
I like to be gently rubbed all over after being cuddled. Not just jumped on. I don’t like pain - I have enough of it all day. I do enjoy a little hair pulling, gentle tugs on the head and pubis. I like back scratches, and ear nibbles. My breasts are extremely sensitive and I can be turned off completely at the slightest tickle or pinch. I do love for them to be rubbed softly. I like my butt and anus rubbed softly. I like to use tingling lube - Either KY or Durex. Of course my main turn on is my clitoris. But I don’t enjoy getting right to it. It is better to be “snuck up upon” gently teased — then moved around and repeated after exploring other areas. This is hard to put in words.
All this time - in order for me to achieve orgasm - I have to be concentrating strictly on myself. Any change pain wise, sound wise or motion wise, can make the feeling go away in an instant.
This has been hard for my 60-year-old mind to write, because of old taboos learned all my life. Maybe in later posts I will be able to expound upon my feelings and sexual wants. Now I would like to read what Is Still Here writes. This series is as much for us to continue learning about each other as it is about doing a blog for others.
Still Here Too